Lonely

Today as I was cleaning I got this feeling of absolute loneliness. I’ve gotta tell you it’s not fun.  I’m a self functioning girl who doesn’t like taking shit from others as you’ve probably noticed. But sometimes all I want is to cuddle up next to someone, wrap their arms around me and feel that sense of comfort and true belonging. Is that too much to ask for?


I feel like I’m asking for too much. I bend backwards when I see someone who fits into that category of  possibilities. I’m not perfect and I don’t expect perfection. I just know what I like and want.

Emilie Autumn - Liar

I just have this song in my head today.  It’s fitting for my mood.  Let me see your pain lover.
 

Rant 2; LIAR!!!

 

From Rat Bastard;  (P.S. He told me over a week ago he deleted his Facebook account)

I’m hoping you got my text about (my friends daughter) , because that is actually important. I’m back on Facebook. Did I read your rants? Yes; my promise to you expired when our communication suddenly halted. Do I have things I’d like to say in response? Yes. Will I say them? Only if you want me to. Will they make a difference? Not one bit. I’m sorry.

Okay so you are a freaking liar! Our communication suddenly halted. Yes! Why? Because YOU, not me, did not tell me the whole truth.  You could have told me there was a girl you liked. But no. Sunday night you were talking about a future involving me. Nothing major of course. But if you had an idea that you wanted to date her then you should have told me. My anger towards you does not involve me feeling

slighted in the emotional “Oh my god I wanted to date you, even though that’s where YOU were leading things.  I wasn’t ready to date you. I just wanted to fuck you. Sadly I still want to fuck you. This time however I won’t be your passive little Slave. This time I want to do it MY way. This time I want you bounded and gagged. Not that we did that with me.  Sunday you were talking about ‘Us’ Monday you suddenly went on a date with this girl leaving you exclusive. Balls!!! You had to know something before Monday! Me not replying or res……. (Just realized what he said.)

YOU RAT BASTARD! YOU TOLD ME YOU CANCELED YOU’RE FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. WHICH WOULD MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO READ SAID NOTE. RAT BASTARD!!!!

Communications suddenly halted? That’s a fucking cop-out. You played me and then when you were done you decided to toss me aside. WHY SHOULD I TAKE IT? I shouldn’t. There forth I stopped talking to you.  Duh!!!

Mini Rant on Facebook from this morning. Only read the first bit at that point.

Hey rat bastard, you can’t do this. You can’t act like the good guy when you are an egocentric asshole. That’s why you’re trying to be the good guy, right? (By telling me about my friends daughter?) To get a thank you from me. Thanks, now fuck off.

Liar!!! 

From Rat Bastard;  (P.S. He told me over a week ago he deleted his Facebook account)

I’m hoping you got my text about (my friends daughter) , because that is actually important. I’m back on Facebook. Did I read your rants? Yes; my promise to you expired when our communication suddenly halted. Do I have things I’d like to say in response? Yes. Will I say them? Only if you want me to. Will they make a difference? Not one bit. I’m sorry.

Okay so you are a freaking liar! Our communication suddenly halted. Yes! Why? Because YOU, not me, did not tell me the whole truth.  You could have told me there was a girl you liked. But no. Sunday night you were talking about a future involving me. Nothing major of course. But if you had an idea that you wanted to date her then you should have told me. My anger towards you does not involve me feeling

slighted in the emotional “Oh my god I wanted to date you, even though that’s where YOU were leading things.  I wasn’t ready to date you. I just wanted to fuck you. Sadly I still want to fuck you. This time however I won’t be your passive little Slave. This time I want to do it MY way. This time I want you bounded and gagged. Not that we did that with me.  Sunday you were talking about ‘Us’ Monday you suddenly went on a date with this girl leaving you exclusive. Balls!!! You had to know something before Monday! Me not replying or res……. (Just realized what he said.)

YOU RAT BASTARD! YOU TOLD ME YOU CANCELED YOU’RE FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. WHICH WOULD MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO READ SAID NOTE. RAT BASTARD!!!!

Communications suddenly halted? That’s a fucking cop-out. You played me and then when you were done you decided to toss me aside. WHY SHOULD I TAKE IT? I shouldn’t. There forth I stopped talking to you.  Duh!!!

Mini Rant on Facebook from this morning. Only read the first bit at that point.

Hey rat bastard, you can’t do this. You can’t act like the good guy when you are an egocentric asshole. That’s why you’re trying to be the good guy, right? (By telling me about my friends daughter?) To get a thank you from me. Thanks, now fuck off.

Emilie Autumn

Okay so this goes under tunes.  Today I’ve been listening mainly to Emilie Autumn  mainly due to my dark mood brought on by RB, the guy behind my previous rant, Boys Suck!!! However she does put me in the mood to write something dark and twisted.

Rant 1; Boys Suck!!!

Okay so the very day I decide to start a blog I also get this annoying text from the guy who I was sleeping with.  Leaving me not feeling very writer bloggy.  It wasn’t  anything serious but it seemed like it was heading in that direction. We had plans to visit his family’s cabin mid April and everything. he wanted me to be exclusive to him and for the most part I was.  But at the same time he kept reminding me and me reminding him that this was casual.  Here’s the rant I posted on Facebook when I should have been blogging about my writing.

You fucking bastard!!! Things i wish I could say.

Okay so we had sex…. really really good sex according to you. Hell I’m in full agreement there too. But damn your egotistic self. I know we said we wanted to keep it casual. Hell you’re too much drama to get involved with your ass. But when you’re not a drama queen and all sweet and wonderful I forget. I was even in the middle of writing you an email saying that I’d like to consider dating you eventually when you texted me about that awesome date you went on last night. (The very day after you told me you couldn’t wait for me to see you. BASTARD!) We would have had to discuss things before I even considered jumping into a relationship with you…. Guess that’s moot. You did this once before to me and I let it slide because we never discussed how honest we were going to be. Well when you told me I said I needed you to be honest with me if you wanted to date someone not after you dated them!!! BASTARD!!! You are fucking selfish and yes you did hurt me. Am I that awful of a person that you don’t want to date me but you’d gladly fuck me? Guess so. So here’s the deal, when that girl leaves you, you can fuck yourself. My pussy’s out of commission. You’re going to have to find someone willing to put up with your pussy behavior. I want me a man who isn’t a selfish dick!

So I sent him a nice little text about an hour ago. He responds that he’s “irked” that I’m upset. That he stated plainly where we stood. That yeah he was thinking of moving things forward but after that great date I should be okay being put on the back burner.


ASSHOLE!!!